Tag Archives: new year

50 Things I Learned in 2009

31 Dec

A facebook friend wrote a note with this title and, without reading hers first, I thought I’d write my own.  These are all things I have learned in the past year:

  1. I love plane rides.  And train rides.  And traveling in general.
  2. Sometimes people you’ve known “forever” will change, drastically, and not for the better.
  3. I’ll sacrifice anything for my kids.
  4. Crushes are much stronger when the person is unavailable or unobtainable.
  5. Diagnosing a condition is a lot easier than treating it.
  6. The more I care about someone in that “special way”, the more difficult it is to be friends.  Sometimes this is impossible and it’s no one’s fault.
  7. Best friends are never that far away, no matter where you live.
  8. You can hang with someone at a bar, you can chat it up online, but you never really know a person until you have them over to your house and let them meet your friends.
  9. When in doubt, find a great therapist.
  10. Shots are for special occasions only.
  11. Nelson is functionally retarded.  Some crushes are better left a fantasy.
  12. Laughter is the best feeling.  You’d think I’d have learned this sooner, but I really, truly didn’t understand that until this year.
  13. I should never text when I’m drinking.
  14. Facebook can get you into trouble.
  15. I can be alone.  But I don’t love it.
  16. I learned how to pop my thumbs this year.
  17. Despite what One Republic may say, it’s never too late to apologize… though it may be too late to be forgiven.
  18. I can live alone in the middle of one of the most dangerous cities in the nation or I can live alone in the middle of the woods in rural Mississippi, and I am never scared when I’m at home.
  19. A man is damn lucky to receive my attention.  I’m smart, pretty, funny, and independent.  Again, I wish I’d realized all this sooner.
  20. My Southern drawl gets stronger the hungrier I get.  “Sheeyit, y’all, I’m hawngry.”
  21. I can fall in love again.  And feel heartbreak again.  And it’s always, always worth it.
  22. I’m good at my job.
  23. Midgets are strong.
  24. New Mexican food is good.
  25. I love my family.  This is something I re-learned this year.
  26. No straight man can share my appreciation and love for Rufus Wainwright.  And that’s a shame.
  27. When you go a long time without practicing a skill, your talent will diminish, but it’s always worth picking up again – even if you’re rusty.  I’m glad I started writing again.
  28. The world would be a better place if you had to answer 5 long division questions before “replying-all”.
  29. Sometime while I was married all the horny boys I once knew grew into whiny old men.  This is my biggest disappointment of 2009.
  30. A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee.  I think this is fair.
  31. There’s nothing like spending time with other people’s kids to make me appreciate my own.
  32. Issues of fidelity are not as black-and-white and simple as I imagined as a child.
  33. As technically bad and trite as the movie was, I really identified with Memphian Ginnifer Goodwin’s character in He’s Just Not That Into You.  I’m willing to put myself out there and make a fool of myself in the name of finding love.  I’ve learned that I pity people who stay safe and cool but never risk anything and are always alone.
  34. Life’s too short to put up with dumb shit.
  35. Life’s too long to stay married to someone you don’t love.
  36. One-A-Day Metabolism vitamins make you digest food 600 times quicker.  More effective –> throwing up after meals.  What I’d rather do –> stay fat.
  37. Deserts are hot.  And if it’s 120 degrees, it doesn’t matter if it’s a “dry heat”.
  38. Some love will never, ever die, no matter how much time and distance you throw at it.
  39. Coffee’s better when my dad fixes it for me.
  40. I’m too self-centered.  Remedying this will be a large part of my 2010 resolutions.
  41. Ki-ki (rhymes with sky-sky) is when two drag queens have sex.  Thanks for teaching me that, Ru Paul.
  42. There is no greater beer than Fat Tire, and no greater way to drink it than on tap from a solo cup.
  43. If it weren’t for sex and cold beer, being an adult wouldn’t be worth all the responsibility.
  44. Not celebrating Thanksgiving makes you ungrateful the same way not celebrating Valentine’s Day makes you unloving.  It doesn’t.  But that’s not the way people would like you to feel about it.
  45. If you can’t find any good sushi, shrimp and grits is the next-best meal.
  46. Having to GOOSFRABA is not a great way to spend Friday morning.  Fat Kid Friday, on the other hand, is.
  47. My job would be much more enjoyable if I didn’t have a sense of smell.
  48. Twitter > Facebook.
  49. Voicemail is always a pain in the ass, on both the sending and receiving ends, and I’m done with it.  I won’t leave or check them anymore.  Over it!
  50. I never tell my mother how much I truly love and appreciate her, but I really don’t think there’s any way I can tell her and have her believe me.

It’s the end of the year as we know it

4 Oct

I noticed something on my walk the other day.  The leaves were falling and it felt great and I picked up my pace so that I could try to catch one falling.  I did, then tossed it behind me and kicked it from behind.  I felt good about fall.  That’s not a consistent feeling for me at this time of year, as I always mourn summer.  I cling to it with every fiber of my soul as Mother Nature, loving the Mississippi heat as she so obviously does, sloooowly and painfully pries it away from me and replaces it with bitter cold, wet, gray days.  But she softens the blow by inserting some crisp nights and pretty leaves in the short weeks between Stifling Hot and Depressingly Cold, and I appreciate her for this.  It’s really the least she could do.

She has fully activated her dying process of all things green, and my thoughts turned toward the end of this year, of 2009.  I suppose it isn’t just me because a friend began talking about it yesterday.  He was looking back on all the craziness of his year and wondering if it had any more surprises in store for him before its end.  I don’t mean to be self-centered, but I honestly don’t know anyone who has had a year as difficult as mine.  A divorce, job loss, TWO moves, leaving my city and my home, leaving all of my friends, another failed relationship post-divorce, unemployment for months on end, moving back in with my parents, coming back to LOUISVILLE… it’s been very hard.  I should want to say goodbye to 2009.

It’s bittersweet though.  I’ve seen more in this year alone than I have in all of the previous years combined.  I got wasted backstage at the Hi-Tone after deciding to go out alone, I lived completely alone for the first time ever, I found closure with an old love and completely feel over that for the first time in my life, I heard the wind whistling through the Grand Canyon, I had an extremely loud tequila-induced argument in the middle of a parking lot in Las Vegas, rode a train from San Diego to Los Angeles, spent all night in the sand watching the pelicans dive into the waves at Pismo Beach, and experienced delightful first kisses with three completely fabulous men (after nearly a decade of kissing the same man – though he used to be pretty damn fabulous himself).  I’ve been through countless hours of therapy, made some shitty decisions and some genius ones, learned to not be so hard on myself, and discovered the joy of creating my own affirmations to hang around my apartment.  This year was horrible and devastating and tear-laden.  And it was beautiful and exciting and filled with laughter.  It has been the most emotional year of my life – one of the absolute worst and absolute BEST.  I wouldn’t trade one second of all the joy I’ve had, even if it removed every bad time.  This was the most exciting year I’ve ever experienced and I am looking forward to the last three months of it.

It reminds me of a quote by Zora Neale Hurston, “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”  I have thought about it a lot, what kind of year this has been.  Definitely the answers.  I cannot wait to discover how 2010 will awaken the questions lying dormant inside me.

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