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Dear Spongebob

21 Sep

Letter #1

Dear Spongebob,

I am writing you today to apologize.  I never appreciated you, Mr. Squarepants, and for that I am sincerely sorry.  When I first discovered you, my daughter was too young to watch television and your voice grated on my nerves like Toby Keith live and at full volume.  I just couldn’t take the squeakiness of it, the embedded whine even within the incessant cheerfulness.

I never let my daughter watch your show.  She didn’t watch a great deal of television at all, but I deliberately never turned on your show, and when she would inquire about your merchandise I taught her it was “tacky”.

Over the years, however, I have been forced to watch Dora the Explorer, Bob the Builder, Franklin, and Caillou.  Compared to them your voice is melodic and beautiful and your crass humor a breath of fresh air in a world of cutesy wootsy cartoony crap.

So I’m sorry Spongebob, and please know that you are now welcome in my home at any time, as I hope I would be in your pineapple.


Raisin Girl

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