50 Things I Learned in 2009

31 Dec

A facebook friend wrote a note with this title and, without reading hers first, I thought I’d write my own.  These are all things I have learned in the past year:

  1. I love plane rides.  And train rides.  And traveling in general.
  2. Sometimes people you’ve known “forever” will change, drastically, and not for the better.
  3. I’ll sacrifice anything for my kids.
  4. Crushes are much stronger when the person is unavailable or unobtainable.
  5. Diagnosing a condition is a lot easier than treating it.
  6. The more I care about someone in that “special way”, the more difficult it is to be friends.  Sometimes this is impossible and it’s no one’s fault.
  7. Best friends are never that far away, no matter where you live.
  8. You can hang with someone at a bar, you can chat it up online, but you never really know a person until you have them over to your house and let them meet your friends.
  9. When in doubt, find a great therapist.
  10. Shots are for special occasions only.
  11. Nelson is functionally retarded.  Some crushes are better left a fantasy.
  12. Laughter is the best feeling.  You’d think I’d have learned this sooner, but I really, truly didn’t understand that until this year.
  13. I should never text when I’m drinking.
  14. Facebook can get you into trouble.
  15. I can be alone.  But I don’t love it.
  16. I learned how to pop my thumbs this year.
  17. Despite what One Republic may say, it’s never too late to apologize… though it may be too late to be forgiven.
  18. I can live alone in the middle of one of the most dangerous cities in the nation or I can live alone in the middle of the woods in rural Mississippi, and I am never scared when I’m at home.
  19. A man is damn lucky to receive my attention.  I’m smart, pretty, funny, and independent.  Again, I wish I’d realized all this sooner.
  20. My Southern drawl gets stronger the hungrier I get.  “Sheeyit, y’all, I’m hawngry.”
  21. I can fall in love again.  And feel heartbreak again.  And it’s always, always worth it.
  22. I’m good at my job.
  23. Midgets are strong.
  24. New Mexican food is good.
  25. I love my family.  This is something I re-learned this year.
  26. No straight man can share my appreciation and love for Rufus Wainwright.  And that’s a shame.
  27. When you go a long time without practicing a skill, your talent will diminish, but it’s always worth picking up again – even if you’re rusty.  I’m glad I started writing again.
  28. The world would be a better place if you had to answer 5 long division questions before “replying-all”.
  29. Sometime while I was married all the horny boys I once knew grew into whiny old men.  This is my biggest disappointment of 2009.
  30. A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee.  I think this is fair.
  31. There’s nothing like spending time with other people’s kids to make me appreciate my own.
  32. Issues of fidelity are not as black-and-white and simple as I imagined as a child.
  33. As technically bad and trite as the movie was, I really identified with Memphian Ginnifer Goodwin’s character in He’s Just Not That Into You.  I’m willing to put myself out there and make a fool of myself in the name of finding love.  I’ve learned that I pity people who stay safe and cool but never risk anything and are always alone.
  34. Life’s too short to put up with dumb shit.
  35. Life’s too long to stay married to someone you don’t love.
  36. One-A-Day Metabolism vitamins make you digest food 600 times quicker.  More effective –> throwing up after meals.  What I’d rather do –> stay fat.
  37. Deserts are hot.  And if it’s 120 degrees, it doesn’t matter if it’s a “dry heat”.
  38. Some love will never, ever die, no matter how much time and distance you throw at it.
  39. Coffee’s better when my dad fixes it for me.
  40. I’m too self-centered.  Remedying this will be a large part of my 2010 resolutions.
  41. Ki-ki (rhymes with sky-sky) is when two drag queens have sex.  Thanks for teaching me that, Ru Paul.
  42. There is no greater beer than Fat Tire, and no greater way to drink it than on tap from a solo cup.
  43. If it weren’t for sex and cold beer, being an adult wouldn’t be worth all the responsibility.
  44. Not celebrating Thanksgiving makes you ungrateful the same way not celebrating Valentine’s Day makes you unloving.  It doesn’t.  But that’s not the way people would like you to feel about it.
  45. If you can’t find any good sushi, shrimp and grits is the next-best meal.
  46. Having to GOOSFRABA is not a great way to spend Friday morning.  Fat Kid Friday, on the other hand, is.
  47. My job would be much more enjoyable if I didn’t have a sense of smell.
  48. Twitter > Facebook.
  49. Voicemail is always a pain in the ass, on both the sending and receiving ends, and I’m done with it.  I won’t leave or check them anymore.  Over it!
  50. I never tell my mother how much I truly love and appreciate her, but I really don’t think there’s any way I can tell her and have her believe me.

6 Responses to “50 Things I Learned in 2009”

  1. Lou December 31, 2009 at 1:27 pm #

    Who is Nelson? Did I miss that, or is my memory bad?

    I’m listening to Rufus RIGHT now. I already was when I started reading this. He soothes me when I’m sad. OMG, straight men are so dumb. I love him.

  2. Raisin Girl December 31, 2009 at 1:47 pm #

    Nelson was someone I had a crush on when I was still married. After JD and I split, I was formally introduced to him by a mutual friend. Then Nelson befriended me on facebook. One night he said he was bored and I told him he was welcome to join me and some friends for a night out. He asked if he could meet up with us at my place, I said yes.

    OMFG, he instantly proved himself retarded. He showed up already sloshed. He dumped my ashtray over my balcony (emptied it there on purpose dude), was loud, obnoxious, and talked to me in a pretty vulgar way. He was SO GROSS. Matt and I had to sneak off to the kitchen and shoot liquor and laugh about how I always get myself in the most ridiculous situations. I never saw Nelson after that. What a fucking let down.

  3. Lou December 31, 2009 at 2:51 pm #

    Oh, and what’s up with your job? Do your clients not bathe regularly or something? :(

  4. Me December 31, 2009 at 3:22 pm #

    OHMYGOSH….I loved this!

    Some of my favorites:

    Ahhhh, I loved them all, however–those were some of the ones that made me literally LOL.

    So good to be reading your blogs again! I miss you!


  5. Raisin Girl December 31, 2009 at 4:22 pm #

    Thanks, Rie. And Lou, hygiene is definitely a problem for some clients. Sad but true!

  6. stardust December 31, 2009 at 6:11 pm #

    Oh, I love this list! I may have to do this soon. It made me pop my thumbs and also sing 14th Street out loud. I still totally need to show you my dance sometime!

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